Self-help books are the new sh*t

Just in the time of global pandemic hitting the world unnegotiably and unpitifully to the point when everything feels like nothing but a monstrous ball of deprivation and impossibility, people all over the world are still craving for good motivational schema for their daily nutrition.

Sure, who doesn’t need a motivation like a simple quote to start out our day when we feel like the weight of the world is catapulted on our shoulders? Moreover, we are convinced that we have plenty enough times to broaden our sense of the world and create our better selves in this time of boredom, right?

By now some business mothers go for a jog in the morning more often, some mothers are having more leisure time to finally breastfeed their babies, some other mothers are having more leisure time to do jogging while breastfeeding their babies. It is both terrifying and complicated.

But hey! at least there are several lovely friends to accompany you during your meltdowns and self-asasssinaton in this gruesome period of time such as TikTok, Twitter, and YouTube so you can dwell yourself to watch cat videos or perhaps someone farting. BUT there is another thing that could not only distract you from the shenanigans happening in the real world, but can actually (kinda) help you to be a better person as well as a (kinda) reviving your best self to go through 2020 pandemic. And that is….self help books!

Over years, self-help books market is growing fantastically. In the US alone, it has sold 1.3 million copies under the categorization in 2013 and came up so high onto 4,3 units in 2019. The fanbase is quite big, but are these books really worth the money? Now here’s a disclaimer, this piece of writing was never intended to slam self-help books in general or to shame those narcissistic self-help authors whose passport-size photo often embedded on the cover of their books (ehm, Anthony Robbins, ehm Robert Kiyosaki). But rather for the purpose of spreading this interesting discussions of the massively expanding readers of non-fiction books especially self-help books that strangely seemed to spread widely like the virus itself during the pandemic.

I, for one, am one of them. I don’t really know which specific time have i been totally grasped into the luminous and hopeful world of self-help books. My personal story is lame since i am a typically slow reader and i have never been an avid non-fiction reader before 2020. But this year has totally switched my genre a little bit from my usual comfort-zone, which is fiction, to a more elaborate expansion of non-fiction. Which to me, is such a fantastically disturbing transition. My non-fiction list can’t really be said as super fancy, though. Those old printed legendary non-fiction books are somehow still able to dominate my list. Atomic Habits, anyone? Hmmm how about the older brother, The Power of Habits? But perhaps Rich Dad Poor Dad is the effing godfather of mainstream financial self-help books. And i have to admit that i have read some of them and loved some of them.

Here’s the thing: whoever you are and wherever you are in this world, there will always be this book categorized as self-help or self-improvement that will resonate with your current situation and emotional state. And if you are so willingly attached by either the synopsis or even the sometimes-narcissistic cover of the book, you will be tempted to eventually buy it.

Self-help books can be great teachers, if the reader accompany themselves with a cup of tea and a little bit of understanding of the universe, so, instead of getting brainwashed by a lame self-help book that does nothing to the reader but the author itself as a life-coaching scam, you can actually be a better person by reading the provided materials in an actual great self-help book. This is why the skill of cherry-picking valuable insights from the book you are holding is vital. Always remember that after all, you don’t have to remember or recollect everything that you read from a self-help book. Because here’s the truth: more often, you only feel helped when you just read it. After a while? Not so much.

Through the years, self-help books are becoming more and more specific in its theme and topic. In the time when a book called Why We Sleep could enter the international bestseller list, you know you can write a book just about anything and you’ll find yourself pocketing millions in your bank account. Another example is a book called Touch by David J Linden which deeply analyzes the science of touch and the sensitivity of our skin. All these best seller books are written by experts who know what they are talking about (although not always). We are filled with gluttony to master and fill our brain with information which probably would not come out in your upcoming midterm tests. It is always good to know things and it is very humane for us to eventually forget what we learn, but it is also important for us to know our boundaries and limit. Prioritize what you want to learn and stop craving for everything. But most importantly, don’t fall for books that is an obvious scam.

In this digital era where everything could be fabricated to look interesting, we are enticed by our ego to want to know more and more. And after reading a self-help book, you will feel enlightened because they are full of open promises. But that feeling never seem to last that long, do they?

Cases in point: you will still get angry at your mother the moment after you read a supposedly relationship-strengthening parent-children educational book. You will still regret not having spanked your kid for craving attention from people by dancing unabashedly to baby shark anthem in a crowded section of a mall. You will still cry ugly over your exes, feeling like the stupidest person in the world, feeling like you’re missing something big and wasting your life. And then you will recover from those feeling of dramatic pain, although they will surely come back again very soon. And by then, i hope you will be holding a good self-help book that is actually good.

But of course, all of these are perfectly normal because you are human. And by letting yourself be evaluated and getting your perspective expanded, you are treating yourself right.